Ep 2.01 - "Volume 2: Generations" - Hiro awakes in ancient feudal Japan, where he steps on a butterfly and causes the future to be totally different. Meanwhile, in the totally different future, Matt and Mohinder are rival mimes competiting for change on the streets of Paris. Everything else is exactly the same. Also, Claire tries to get all emo to impress her new emo friend, but her cuts heal up instantly and she is rejected. Niki stares directly at an eclipse and goes blind.
Ep 2.02 - "Heroes Men" - Matt steps up his rivalry by adding a "trapped in an invisible box with a rabid dog inside" bit to his act, frustrating Mohinder greatly. Peter reforms after the massive space-explosion - but is still floating aimlessly through outerspace. Nathan falls asleep at some stupid committee meeting. Hiro steps on a blade of grass, causing the future to alter slightly - now the Earth is called Planet Lizard Death, but everything else is completely the same. Niki gets a seeing eye-dog.
Ep 2.03 - "SuperHeroes" - Mohinder stealthily switches Matt's usual white makeup with a different kind of makeup that Matt is allergic to, which causes Matt to break out in hives and must stay at home and rest for a few days. Nathan signs a wildlife preserve bill and is featured briefly on C-SPAN. Peter floats past Jupiter. Mr. Bennet takes Claire to the hospital for an appendectomy, but the doctors are frightened when the incisions keep healing up. Mr. Bennet is forced to kill the entire hospital staff to hide his daughter's secret. Hiro sneezes and causes the future to be ruled by a super-sized ant known as "The Master of All Humanity," but everything else is more or less the same.
Ep 2.04 - "How To Stop a Performing Mime" - Focusing on the storied rivalry between Matt and Mohinder (in their "mime" future), we follow them during their early friendship as fellow mimes at Mime Academy to their dramatic feud over a female mime whom they both loved that led to their current schism. We also learn that Matt's father was a legendary mime, and Matt was never able to live up to his father's high expectations of him. Also, Mohinder's lust for miming grew from the time when Marcel Marceau saved his life as a young boy about to be crushed by stampeding gazelles. Guest starring Marcel Marceau.
Ep 2.05 - "Future History" - Hiro accidentally snaps a branch off of a tree, and the future is populated by mindlessly evil lizards who have enslaved the few remnants of humanity, but everything else is exactly the same as before. Peter leaves the Milky Way. Nathan heads up a tax committee for Overlord Shnaarl the Ruthless. Claire shaves her legs and cuts herself a little, but it heals up immediately. Mr. Bennet is worried that the neighbors may have seen this through their window, so he kills his entire neighborhood. Sylar returns and eats some cow brains and now has the power to lactate.
Ep 2.06 - "Hiro Has Sex With His Grandma" - Hiro does that funny face thing he does and teleports to 1944 and totally accidentally has sex with his grandma, making him his own grandfather. Sylar hunts down an elusive parrot and eats its brains so he can now repeat things that people say to him. Overlord Shnaarl the Ruthless appoints Nathan to be his Secretary of Human Slaves. Niki accidentally kills her seeing eye dog when she tugs on his leash too hard, leaving her lost in the middle of the Nevada desert. Matt and Mohinder team up briefly to win their territory back from one of those "robot" mimes. Claires whines about something.
Ep 2.07 - "Doom" - Hiro continues sleeping with his grandmother, even after realizing their relation and the time paradox he is currently causing. Peter gets really depressed in the cold reaches of space. Nathan works to pass a bill scaling back the kinds of punishment dealt to disobedient slaves from "instant death" to "lifelong torture." Niki punches a cactus really hard. Sylar, power-hungry as ever, discovers that brains go great with Tabasco sauce. Matt learns calligraphy, which he uses to make a new "Change" sign in front of his change hat. This infuriates Mohinder, who just got a new "Change" sign made at Kinko's, which looks so bland next to Matt's handmade one.
Ep 2.08 - "The Justice League - Erm, I Mean - Team" - Hiro goes back to the moment where life began on Planet Lizard Death, but accidentally steps on that fish-frog thing that crawls out of the ocean, thus ending that step of evolution. Everyone in the future are now single-celled organisms or partially evolved fish. Fish Nathan is eaten by a larger fish.
Ep 2.09 - "Mime's the Word" - (description unavailable)
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Prison Break - Season 3 Preview
Ahoy there, Prison Breakers! I know you're all anxiously awaiting the return of PB in one week, so we here at This Site have gotten the inside scoop on all of the prison breaking-related shockers, plot twists, thrill rides, tattoo-inducing goodness! Our super secret insider (Prison Break's Wentworth Miller) has supplied us with episode descriptions for the first half of the season! Thanks, secret inside scooper!
Ep 3.01 - "Running in Circles" - Michael and Mahone find themselves prisoners in Sona Prison in Panama. Michael gives himself a new tattoo detailing the architecture of the prison, but does so on his forehead, forcing him to ally himself with Mahone so he can read it, until Michael can find a mirror at least.
Ep 3.02 - "Poke 'Er? I Hardly Know 'Er!" - Lincoln, desperate to help his brother, gets totally trashed at a bar and plows into a parked car, getting cited for DUI and reckless driving, which lands him in Sona. Meanwhile, Michael gives himself a Darth Vader tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ep 3.03 - "El Diablo del Prison de Tatoo" - T-Bag wins the Sona Friday Bingo Night and is granted one wish by the prison warden. Bellick gets raped repeatedly by a 13-year old boy who was mistakenly sent to Sona. Michael and Lincoln play "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon," which Michael cheats at by using his tattoos.
Ep 3.04 - "Contingency Plan" - Bellick, sick of Panamanian cuisine and getting raped, approaches Michael about a possible escape. Michael is reluctant, until Lincoln gets diarrhea and backs up the toilet in their cell. Mahone becomes the Sona Staring Contest champion.
Ep 3.05 - "Tit For Tat" - Michael tattoos "LOVE" and "YOU" onto his eyelids in case he ever meets Harrison Ford. Lincoln and T-Bag team up to make some fake mustaches that will be essential to breaking out of prison. Mahone is dethroned by a new Staring Contest hotshot.
Ep 3.06 - "Checkmate" - Lincoln and T-Bag start sewing some barbershop quartet outfits that will be essential to breaking out of prison. Bellick makes some wine in his toilet. Michael digs a really big hole in the center of the prison yard, which his tattoos tell him is directly above an oil well.

Ep 3.07 - "Black Gold" - Lincoln becomes frustrated at Michael's reluctance to prioritize breaking out of prison over searching for oil. T-Bag goes to great lengths to acquire the sheet music to "Coney Island Babe." Michael continues to dig his oil well. Bellick cries for an hour.
Ep 3.08 - "Texas Tea" - Lincoln's hunt for mustache wax puts him at odds with a dangerous fellow inmate. Bellick is angered when he discovers Mahone has been using his toilet and hence ruining numerous batches of wine. Michael discovers that he is illiterate.
Ep 3.09 - "Rock the Boat" - Michael's hole leads him to an unexpected destination: China. Lincoln and T-Bag argue over who is going to sing lead for "Coney Island Babe." A new inmate has seen The Shawshank Redemption, making him an invaluable new asset to the escape plan. Mahone re-discovers his passion for rare stamp collecting. Guest starring Terrence Stamp.
Ep 3.10 - "Bad New Warden" - The new warden of Sona deals with the overcrowding problem by putting Michael, Lincoln, T-Bag, Bellick, and Mahone on death row. Michael gets a new tattoo on his neck reading "The new warden sucks!" but it secretly contains a great brownie recipe. T-Bag lives up to his name.
Ep 3.11 -"Criteria" - Lincoln is forced to sacrifice Michael to a notorious prison rapist in exchange for some tea and honey when he loses his voice, fearful T-Bag would use the opportunity to take the lead part. Bellick gets a terrible rash, jeopardizing his ability to join the escape plan. Mahone runs out of mousse.
Ep 3.12 - "High Hopes" - The group prepares to enact their escape plan. Mahone is unexpectedly elected Vice President of the Stamp Collecting Club. Lincoln nicks himself while shaving. Michael gets a tattoo of a gun on his hand, hoping he can use it to trick the guards into letting them leave the prison. T-Bag gets stage fright and cannot perform with the barbershop quartet for the talent show the next day.
Ep 3.13 - "Exit Strategy" - Michael gets an invitation to his 10 year high school reunion, but regretfully declines. An old friend visits Lincoln, who has contracted amnesia and cannot remember who anyone is. Bellick's rash worsens. The group tries to construct a catapult based on one of Michael's tattoos, but the finished product seems awfully dangerous and silly.
Ep 3.01 - "Running in Circles" - Michael and Mahone find themselves prisoners in Sona Prison in Panama. Michael gives himself a new tattoo detailing the architecture of the prison, but does so on his forehead, forcing him to ally himself with Mahone so he can read it, until Michael can find a mirror at least.
Ep 3.02 - "Poke 'Er? I Hardly Know 'Er!" - Lincoln, desperate to help his brother, gets totally trashed at a bar and plows into a parked car, getting cited for DUI and reckless driving, which lands him in Sona. Meanwhile, Michael gives himself a Darth Vader tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ep 3.03 - "El Diablo del Prison de Tatoo" - T-Bag wins the Sona Friday Bingo Night and is granted one wish by the prison warden. Bellick gets raped repeatedly by a 13-year old boy who was mistakenly sent to Sona. Michael and Lincoln play "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon," which Michael cheats at by using his tattoos.
Ep 3.04 - "Contingency Plan" - Bellick, sick of Panamanian cuisine and getting raped, approaches Michael about a possible escape. Michael is reluctant, until Lincoln gets diarrhea and backs up the toilet in their cell. Mahone becomes the Sona Staring Contest champion.
Ep 3.05 - "Tit For Tat" - Michael tattoos "LOVE" and "YOU" onto his eyelids in case he ever meets Harrison Ford. Lincoln and T-Bag team up to make some fake mustaches that will be essential to breaking out of prison. Mahone is dethroned by a new Staring Contest hotshot.
Ep 3.06 - "Checkmate" - Lincoln and T-Bag start sewing some barbershop quartet outfits that will be essential to breaking out of prison. Bellick makes some wine in his toilet. Michael digs a really big hole in the center of the prison yard, which his tattoos tell him is directly above an oil well.

Ep 3.07 - "Black Gold" - Lincoln becomes frustrated at Michael's reluctance to prioritize breaking out of prison over searching for oil. T-Bag goes to great lengths to acquire the sheet music to "Coney Island Babe." Michael continues to dig his oil well. Bellick cries for an hour.
Ep 3.08 - "Texas Tea" - Lincoln's hunt for mustache wax puts him at odds with a dangerous fellow inmate. Bellick is angered when he discovers Mahone has been using his toilet and hence ruining numerous batches of wine. Michael discovers that he is illiterate.
Ep 3.09 - "Rock the Boat" - Michael's hole leads him to an unexpected destination: China. Lincoln and T-Bag argue over who is going to sing lead for "Coney Island Babe." A new inmate has seen The Shawshank Redemption, making him an invaluable new asset to the escape plan. Mahone re-discovers his passion for rare stamp collecting. Guest starring Terrence Stamp.
Ep 3.10 - "Bad New Warden" - The new warden of Sona deals with the overcrowding problem by putting Michael, Lincoln, T-Bag, Bellick, and Mahone on death row. Michael gets a new tattoo on his neck reading "The new warden sucks!" but it secretly contains a great brownie recipe. T-Bag lives up to his name.
Ep 3.11 -"Criteria" - Lincoln is forced to sacrifice Michael to a notorious prison rapist in exchange for some tea and honey when he loses his voice, fearful T-Bag would use the opportunity to take the lead part. Bellick gets a terrible rash, jeopardizing his ability to join the escape plan. Mahone runs out of mousse.
Ep 3.12 - "High Hopes" - The group prepares to enact their escape plan. Mahone is unexpectedly elected Vice President of the Stamp Collecting Club. Lincoln nicks himself while shaving. Michael gets a tattoo of a gun on his hand, hoping he can use it to trick the guards into letting them leave the prison. T-Bag gets stage fright and cannot perform with the barbershop quartet for the talent show the next day.
Ep 3.13 - "Exit Strategy" - Michael gets an invitation to his 10 year high school reunion, but regretfully declines. An old friend visits Lincoln, who has contracted amnesia and cannot remember who anyone is. Bellick's rash worsens. The group tries to construct a catapult based on one of Michael's tattoos, but the finished product seems awfully dangerous and silly.
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