Short'uns

Poor Peers
I've always considered Jean-Claude Van Damme to be a poor man's Arnold Schwarzenegger, just like I've always considered a hobo to be a poor man's economic equal.

Vincent Vegan
I'll become a vegetarian when they start growing steak trees.

The $upreme ¢ourt
If I wanted to file a lawsuit against someone who was really rich and classy, I would file a lawtuxedo instead.

Pie Chart
According to mathematics, π = 3.14159265358979323846...
According to Baker's Square, π = 10.99

Personally, I prefer Baker's Square's answer.

The ABC's of Clothing
T-shirts are just shirts that sort of look like t's, so why aren't pants called upside-down-V-pants?

PC-PC
Boss: E-mail me those numbers by noon, toots.
Secretary: Excuse me, sir, but that's a little sexist.
Boss: Oh, I apologize. E-person me those numbers by noon, whore.