Did you like the hit sci-fi adaptation I, Robot? Do you like unnecessary and frightening boobs? Then you'll love Svedka, the vodka that will be the top-name in quality alcohol...in 25 years?
Frankly, this baffles me for many reasons:
- I don't trust robots. I trust an alcoholic robot even less. Robots endorsing vodka means nothing. If this were a robot-motor-oil advertisement, it would make sense. But robots probably will have no need to get drunk in the future, so this is sort of like a jaguar endorsing a Jaguar car: yeah, it looks kinda cool, but it makes no sense and leaves you with a cold, empty feeling that makes you long for death.
- I don't trust robots that are made to look like "sexy women" robots either. Why graft on unnecessary boobs, scientists? Why fake robo-lipstick? Is this the next evolutionary step in RealDolls? If so, man those metal gears and fixtures are gonna chafe. If this reminds anyone of an actual woman, you should probably Google "robo-sinead o' connor" and watch all of your darkest fantasies come to life.
- The slogan. "Voted #1 Vodka of 2033?" Well, no one has voted yet. Trust me, my slip says that they won't even begin to tally the votes until around November 15th, 2033. So, that's invalidated right there. Secondly, 2033? I get they're going for the whole "vodka of the future" thing (which means...regular vodka the same way it has been for hundreds of years, but it will now be consumed by party-hardy robots) going on, but saying its the best in 2033 means nothing to the 2008 alcoholic with taste. "So...in 25 years that vodka will be the best, huh? Welp, time to get me some more of that McCormick's. Seeya in 25 years."
Maybe Svedka's good. Maybe it's amazing. Maybe it cures pink eye. But all I know is that it's awesome so long as you're a robot in the future. Sadly, I am not. Other brands, here I come!
No comments:
Post a Comment