We, all of Mankind, have read your open letter, describing your "heroic" struggle to protect and defend that which you have so mercilessly and explodingly destroyed. How dare you claim to do nearly as much good for Mankind as, say, Financial-Advice-Man or Mankind-Protector-Man! The population of the planet Earth has sunken from upwards of 6 billion to a diminuitive fifty-seven since your inception. 95% of the land on Earth is uninhabitable due to radiation. If these walls could talk, they would demand the instantaneous destruction of he who is known to the world as Exploding-Man.
Unfortunately, all walls have been obliterated by Exploding-Man.
We, Mankind, will never accept you, Exploding-Man (if that is your real name!). You have brought more catastrophe and death to this planet than the Holocaust, World Wars 1 & 2, the Black Plague, and the upcoming expansion of our dying Sun combined. You are not a hero. You, dear sir, are a zero.
Take this notice as a plea to leave us alone and/or torture yourself gratuitously and then finish the act by beheading yourself in a most gruesome manner. This is all we ask of you.
Sincerely,
Mankind
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