If there's any question in your mind as to why this Jack is the best Jack, then you don't know Jack! (wait for uproarious laughter) Seriously though, folks. The man has single-handedly saved Los Angeles, Mexico, the United States of America, countless presidents, and often the entire world...IN 24 HOURS. He has also died twice and come back to life. Even Jesus can't match that. Checkmate.
2. Jack McCoy (LAW & ORDER)
The king of the gravelly-voiced courtroom speech. He's always on the side of right, even when he's being accompanied by vapid models who have no clue how to act alongside this legendary Jack. He's the "Law" in "Law & Order" and is usually way better than "Order." Personally, I'm not a huge fan of "Order" since Jerry Orbach left, but then what do I know?
3. Jack Shepherd (LOST)
Superheroic, tortured, daddy-issue-ful, O-negative-blooded, man-of-science Jack is quite the Jack. He's constantly saving everyone's asses, making bold yet often stupid decisions, and shooting guns while looking very intense. Also, the man grows a mean beard, and has the power to punch Hobbits back to life. His cup runneth over!
4. Jack Bristow (ALIAS)
Whether he's torturin', savin' his greatest enemies for mysterious purposes, bein' mysterious, or just lookin' over his daughter, Jack Bristow knows a badassness that most of us will never truly experience fully.
5. Jackie Chiles (SEINFELD)
You all love Jackie Chiles, even though we all know that Michael Richards was covertly burning crosses in front of him and yelling racial slurs off-stage. And putting Jackie Chiles any lower on this list would be totally inappropriate. It would be lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous! Man, pale imitations of Seinfeld characters' quotes never gets old.
6. Cpt. Jack Harkness (TORCHWOOD)
Jack Harkness? That is probably the badassest name on the list, yet he is only the 6th awesomest? Probably because he's British. They can be classy folks, but they still have tea time and awful teeth. Oh, and this dude hunts demons or something.
7. Jack Donaghy (30 ROCK)
Anyone who can do a Redd Fox impersonation like this man can deserves at least twelve Nobel Peace Prizes and a handful of gummi bears. That has no relevance to the man or the show he's on, but c'mon. Also, this man is amazing and his salary negotiations begin at one dollar. I like those odds!
8. Jack Tripper (THREE'S COMPANY)
He's not actually gay, but he must pretend like he is or Norman Fell and Barney Fife will kick him out of that apartment! And thus I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry found a plot-device to steal so that Adam Sandler could make another $100 million dollars for yelling and Rob Schneider could play another insentively-portrayed ethnicity. Huzzah!
9. "Uncle" Jack Dorso (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT)
He was only in one episode, but creepy "Uncle" Jack (aka "The Bullet") was a pretty fantastic faux-Jack LaLanne. "Shoot me!" "It was a bad hire. Not 'higher!' 'HIRE!'" "Shake me!" "I took down the Army-boy!" Man, that was a good show. I feel bad for the eleven people who watched it. Twelve if you include me.
10. Jack Stiles (JACK OF ALL TRADES)
Well, I'm pretty sure they only named him Jack to go along with that lame pun of a title. But Bruce Campbell is an amazingly qualified badass in everything he does, this included. He was a 19th-century secret agent on a devious French island and would often spoil the plans of Napoleon (as portrayed by Mini-Me) and other dubious characters. And it was Bruce Campbell!
1 comment:
Great list although I'd move around some but that's mainly because I haven't seen all of these shows. I would also add Samurai Jack.
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