Assuming "Cavemen" Is a Runaway Hit, I Think We Should Consider Making "Australian Anthromorphized Gecko" Into An Hourlong Procedural Drama

Cavemen, people.


People across this nation - the nation of America, ya know- loved the concept of modernized cavemen dealing with a cold, judgmental society in 30-second one-joke snippets. So, obviously, it turned out to be the perfect fodder for the ailing sitcom structure. Will it be the next Seinfeld or Friends? No, don't be ridiculous.


It will be at least ten times as popular and profitable as those shows.


How many cavemen or other strange and hilarious creatures did those shows feature? None (excluding David Schwimmer of course - ZING!). How many does Cavemen feature? Upwards of THREE.


Three, people. Three different cavemen. Wearing modern day clothes. Listening to iPods. Doing things. This is the stuff dreams are made of.


That worked. It worked like a charm blessed by Jesus Christ himself who brought a leprechaun along with him just for the hell of it. So, people, let me ask you this: why have you not yet started production on Australian Anthromorphized Gecko? "AAG" has been around longer than cavemen. Is more recognizable than cavemen. It's name is even closer to "Geico" than cavemen is! DAMMIT, PEOPLE! Let's get moving!


What do Americans - from America - love? Car insurance commercials? Check. Anthromorphized lizards? Check. Funny sounding accents? Check. Hourlong CBS procedural dramas? Double check. Here's a little math equation for your mathies in the audience:


[(Anthromorphized Lizard x Australian Accent + Guaranteed Geico Sponsorship)/Hourlong Procedural Drama On CBS] + cos(Chad Lowe) - Anthony LaPaglia = $UCE$$!!!


The $'s represent "S"'s, people. Think about it.


What're the problems with this? First, the damn gecko is CGI. That could get expensive. Cut the CGI, let's stick Chad Lowe into a giant lizard outfit. Can he do an Australian accent? Make it cockney, no one will notice. He's a detective investigating insurance fraud - see what I did there? Insurance! Get it? - in Seattle. He makes cracks about being a lizard. Comic relief interspersed with the heavy drama. Maybe a crossover episode with the cavemen? Who knows. The future is bright, people!


Anthromorphized Australian Gecko, people. Get working.