Have A Spooky HalloGREEN

BOO! Ha ha! I'm afraid I must admit that I have spooked you, gentle reader, so you may want to become frightened and howl accordingly! I do so because we here at This Site have realized that the celebration of Halloween is just around the corner. But do you know what else is around the proverbial corner?

Being green!

But what does "being green" mean? All kinds of celebrities, from Jennifer Aniston to Leonardo Dicaprio to Nobel-winning beard-grower Al Gore, seem to really want everyone to "be green." And since celebrities are usually right about these things (remember when Ronald Reagan was a celebrity? He became president! Coincidence?!), I think we should all think about "going green" for Halloween. Why, we could call it -

HALLOGREEN!

To aid you, the still-spooked reader of This Site, in becoming green for Halloween, we will try to figure out what "being green" means and then we will tell you how to be whatever it is that that means.

Today we will explore "being green" if it means literally being green. Which we all really hope it does, because that'd make this really easy for us and we could finally use those buckets of green paint that have been sitting in the basement for the past decade. This one's for you, Mr. Gore!

BECOMING GREEN FOR HALLOWEEN - A HOW-TO-DO-THIS-GUIDE

1. You'd be surprised how easy it is to "go green." And the benefits for you and the rest of the world are priceless! Go get all of the buckets of green paint that have been sitting in the basement for the past decade. If it's still in cans, even better!

2. Ok, now douse everything in sight with the paint. Yes, that's right! The walls, the furniture, the food, even yourself!

3. Run outside and start dousing everything else with the green paint! The sidewalks, the streets, your neighbor's dog, that UPS truck over there, your neighbors...all must go green! You don't have you paint your grass if you take care of it and its already green, but if you're like us, your grass is more the color of dead hay than wonderful green paint. Might wanna get that too.

4. Dump all of the toxic waste you can find into a river - make sure that toxic waste is green though!

5. Eat some chips that have been covered in a green lead-based paint and sit back.

6. Receive Nobel prize and congratulatory call from Ryan Seacrest.

We'll check back with you later with more tips for going green for this year's HalloGREEN once we look up what "going green" actually means!