Tips For HalloGREEN

We here at this site, This Site, have finally looked up what "going green" means. Turns out, much to our chagrin, that it is not meant to be taken literally. It's more like "nature stuff tends to be green, and we should help nature out once in a while, so let's all be green like nature and stop throwing those styrofoam cups into the river or something."

I guess that makes sense, even though our way would have actually changed the world in a noticeable way. As far as I can tell, the actual way of "going green" will just make smokestacks all swirly. Which, don't get me wrong, would be pretty cool, but not worth all of the effort.


Regardless, people want green, so we're here to give them green.


Our HalloGREEN tip of the day for today is how to make your costume more greener than you could ever imagine it being! And we don't mean how to make it more like the color green, even though that would have made this whole thing way easier. Just go as the Jolly Green Giant. He's cool and healthy.

THIS SITE PRESENTS...

HALLOGREEN COSTUME BONANZA!

What is the most important thing about Halloween? Other than ghosts. And scary movies. And vandalism. And candy. Okay, maybe to you candy is the most important thing, but not to the rest of the world. C'mon man, give us a break here. We're talking about...costumes with rubber masks that are really uncomfortable and usually look awful and smell kinda funny.

GREEN TIP! Those rubber masks that you love to breathe through uncomfortably for five minutes before saying "Screw this" and tearing it off and never putting it on again are apparently not green. We'll call things that aren't green "puce" for simplicity's sake.

Here is a list of potential, green-ready costumes that are awesome and look pretty snazzy which you can choose to don this HalloGREEN:

R2-D2

This year, impress all of your Prius-driving pals with your green-approved R2-D2 costume! Remember that beeping garbage can from those popular space movies? It's him! Beep and boop and be the belle of the ball! Just take a garbage can, throw it over your head, and presto-change-o! Deliver important messages to princesses while beeping at your annoying, effeminate, gold-colored companion!

Chewbacca

"GRRRRRRRRRAHHHHHH!!!" He's big, he's furry, he can rip your arms right off! He's Chewbacca, or "Chewy" to you "space fights" fans out there! You can assemble this easy-to-make and green-friendly costume without polluting one bit! Just find your dog (or a neighbors dog) and cut its head off and prop it on your own! Brown dogs are preferable, but not necessary. Look at you! You're now a fierce Wookiee, ready to do battle with James Earl Jones and other evil folks. For bonus costume accessories, cut off various other parts of the dog's body and glue them to your own!

Human Bee-Hive

This year, why not give our fine, honey-producing friends a hand by offering up your body as a human bee-hive? You will look very cool and frightening to others, but you will also be helping nature! As the thousands upon thousands of bees hover around you and sting you (mildly, hopefully), you will serve as a mobile base for their honey-producing intentions! Plus, you will serve as free advertisement for Jerry Seinfeld's "Bee Movie," coming out November 2nd!