The Supreme Leadership Council of The Government had just ruled a new decree, which was broadcast to the whole world via GovernmentVision during Jorgatootooberg's favorite Government-prescribed program, Government Propoganda.
The new decree was this:
"ALL BOOKS ARE TO BE BURNED AND BANNED! IN THAT ORDER!"
Jorgatootooberg spat out his Mood-Drink beverage, which now contained over 20% more mood-altering chemicals than before. As he cleaned up the puddle which lay on his perfectly smooth, gray floor, he could not look away from the television screen: partially because it had long ago been decreed than all civilians watch each and every second of any Government-prescribed programming, but mostly because this decree seemed particularly important to himself.
Jorgatootooberg was a librarian.
"Man, the boss probably isn't gonna like this," muttered Jorgatootooberg to himself as he tossed the moist paper towel into the trash-incinerator.
As soon as Government Propoganda ended, Jorgatootooberg heard a knock at his door.
"I'm probably not gonna like this."
With a small explosion, the door was demolished. Jorgatootooberg flew backwards and hit against his smooth, gray wall. As he tried to get up while grasping the back of his head, which had taken the brunt of the crash, he heard what every civilian fears:
"THIS IS FACELESS DYSTOPIC SECURITY." Oh crap, thought Jorgatootooberg. "ONE VERNON JORGATOOTOOBERG, CIVILIAN NUMBER 3341623453212359, BY DECREE OF THE SUPREME LEADERSHIP COUNCIL, YOU HAVE BEEN DEEMED OBSOLETE. YOUR TRIAL AND EXECUTION DATE HAVE BEEN SET. YOU WILL APPEAR IN DYSTOPIC JUDGMENT COURT IN EXACTLY ONE HOUR."
"Um, court and execution date?" asked Jorgatootooberg rather sheepishly. "Wouldn't that mean that my guilt is sort of a foregone conclusion? What's the point of a trial if you guys have already determined me to be-"
"YOU MAY SPEAK AND PLEAD YOUR CASE AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME - WHEN IN THE LIQUIDATION CHAIR."
"The liquidation chair?"
Before he could say another word, Jorgatootooberg was hit by about five darts, and passed out for exactly one hour.
When he woke up, dazed and his head still throbbing, Jorgatootooberg found himself strapped into a strange gray, metallic chair. Really, that wasn't very strange, because in the dystopic future of 2109, all chairs were metallic and gray and forced you to be strapped into them in the case of a nuclear explosion or earthquake, both of which happened on a weekly basis. What was truly strange about this particular chair is that there were syringes filled with mysterious chemicals on all sides - all poised to be injected into various parts of Jorgatootooberg.
"Are you Vernon Jorgatootooberg, civilian?" asked a man atop a high podium about twenty feet away from Jorgatootooberg."Um, yes. Who are you?"
"I am Judgment Officer Brown and I am asking the questions here!"
"Sorry."
"Are you...a librarian?!"
"Yes. Well, I was, I guess. I mean, that's all illegal now, right?"
"Ah-HA! So you admit to illegal activity and being part of an obsolete profession! DEATH BY LIQUIDATION IT IS!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Hold on a sec, man! I was told my profession was phased out 45 minutes before I was arrested. I haven't even been to work since!"
"Ahhhhh, very clever, Jorgatootooberg. But, as you should know, all new decrees are deemed retroactive, meaning that if they had ever been broken in the past or the future, you are guilty!"
Jorgatootooberg furrowed his brow.
"What the hell are you talking about? And - wait, hold on again. Why are you guys making books illegal?"
"Books can contain ideals and philosophies counterintuitive to the teachings of the Government! They are dens for chaos and thought and not following conformity and paper cuts!"
"Yeah, but they can also contain tons of information. I mean, I got a brother who works in one of the Uranium Mines on Alpha 5 Gamma. He learned how to do his profession via books. If you burn all the books, how will people learn anything?"
"Books have been banned, Mr. Jorgatootooberg. As has 'information' and 'learning.' Ha! It amuses me how you foolishly cling to the past while the future is glaring at you in the eye!"
"The future? You're going to liquidate me or something for no reason."
"Information and learning are capable of cultivating free thought and not taking Mood-Lite pills and reading books and not always screaming and non-conformity! Disgusting things!"
"So...all writing is banned too?"
"ALL WRITING IS BANNED! ALL READING IS BANNED!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"You are the stupid one, Jorgatootooberg. And you will soon be liquidated for it."
Jorgatootooberg gave pleading looks at the two Faceless Dystopic Security Guards who stood at the base of the extremely large podium. All seemed to be lost, when an idea occured to Jorgatootooberg.
"Um," began Jorgatootooberg. "I'm assuming I'm probably guilty. So could you just read off the charges against me and just tell me how guilty I am?"
"Naturally," replied Judge Brown with a cruel and malicious smile. He picked up the piece of paper that was lying on his desk. "You have been charged with being a librarian - an obsolete profession of no use to the Government, with dealing with books instead of burning them, and with having a ridiculous last name that completely defies conformity. And this court finds you-"
The two Faceless Dystopic Security Guards had climbed up the podium and had thrown handcuffs on Judge Brown.
"What are you two doing? I am a Judge for the Government!"
"YOU HAVE READ SOMETHING IN PLAIN SIGHT OF GOVERNMENT OFFICERS. YOU ARE IN CLEAR VIOLATION OF ANY AND ALL RULINGS AND DECREES OF THE GOVERNMENT AND WILL BE PUT INTO IMMEDIATE LIQUIDATION."
"What?! No! NO! It cannot be!"
His pitiful screams continued as the two guards dragged him into another room, which probably would look exactly like the room Jorgatootooberg was in. But then again, pretty much all rooms in the dystopic future looked exactly the same, so it wouldn't be too big of a deal.
Jorgatootooberg smiled. He had won, sorta. But then he realized that he was trapped inside of the court room, which now had not Judgment Officer to maintain it. No one would find him until a new officer had been appointed.
And the only person who can appoint a new officer? The old one.
"Crap," muttered Jorgatootooberg.
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