
CHAPTER 24 : 7:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m.
7:00:01
Jack, drenched in goat blood and feces (from unspecified origins), arose from the collapsed toolshed. His clothes were tattered, his body worn, and his left eye poked out by a decorative swordfish display at the local Applebee's. But his mind was resolute. Resolute on stopping terror in all of its forms and colors and shapes and sizes. Jack pulled his body from the wreckage of the once mighty and proud toolshed and basked in the sunlight; much like a phoenix rising from the ashes only to realize that it was actually a terror-fighting phoenix that had only one hour left until a massive terrorist attack took place.
Bossli Explosionyed's entire series of terrorist attacks throughout the course of the day were in fact a diversion to keep Jack Bauer from discovering his true objective: blow up the moon. It seemed so obvious in retrospect; the clues had been everywhere. The spacesuits and Tang at Explosionyed's mom's apartment, the copy of Apollo 13 at the site of the suicide bomber at Target, and finally (the most damning piece of evidence) the note reading: "I AM GOING TO BLOW UP THE MOON AT AROUND 8:00 AM DEATH TO AMERICA." Jack had let this situation nearly slip out of his weary hands, and for his negligence, Jack knew it was up to him and only him to stop Explosionyed's treacherous scheme.
Jack had gone dark from CTU a few hours ago, in order to avoid Bill Buchanan's incessant phone calls that he would make for no real reason, other than to ask Jack "how he was doing" or "who his favorite Beatle was." The only communication Jack had within CTU was that of Ricardo O'Brian, Chloe's twin Costa Rican brother, who took over Chloe's position after her unfortunate and untimely beheading by Mike Novick, former-Chief-of-Staff gone bad.
7:06:44
Jack dusted himself off and searched through the wreckage for his cell phone, which he had been using every five minutes for the past 23 hours without re-charging. When at last he found it, he immediately called Ricardo.
"Soy Ricardo, CTU."
"Ricardo, it's Jack. You were right all along. Explosionyed's going to blow up the moon!" gasped Jack, still wiping blood from his mouth.
"So what do you need from me, Senor Bauer?" queried Ricardo.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO TORTURE YOU OR SOMETHING?!" propositioned Jack, pointing his gun at the cell phone.
"Jesus Christ, Jack, calm down," snapped Ricardo, who was insensitive and rude. "I can help you if you tell me something to do."
"All right," began Jack, lowering his weapon, "I need you to hack into NASA's computers and hijack me a rocket."
"What? Are you insane? What could -"
"I WILL TORTURE YOU WITH MY MIND!" bellowed Jack, as he clenched his fists and eyes and focused on using his mind to torture Ricardo as hard as he could, not realizing that he did not have psychic abilities and the events of the day had completely destroyed what little sanity he had left.
"Fine, fine," sighed Ricardo. "I'll open up a socket and steal you that rocket."
"And I need it within the next ten minutes," announced Jack, hanging up on Ricardo.
"It is literally impossible for you to get to Cape Canaveral in ten minutes, Jack," spoke Ricardo to no one, 'cuz Jack had hung up. Ricardo sighed. "Well...better get going." Ricardo hacked like he had never hacked before, and in seven minutes, the Shuttle Palmer was at their command.
7:00:01
Jack, drenched in goat blood and feces (from unspecified origins), arose from the collapsed toolshed. His clothes were tattered, his body worn, and his left eye poked out by a decorative swordfish display at the local Applebee's. But his mind was resolute. Resolute on stopping terror in all of its forms and colors and shapes and sizes. Jack pulled his body from the wreckage of the once mighty and proud toolshed and basked in the sunlight; much like a phoenix rising from the ashes only to realize that it was actually a terror-fighting phoenix that had only one hour left until a massive terrorist attack took place.
Bossli Explosionyed's entire series of terrorist attacks throughout the course of the day were in fact a diversion to keep Jack Bauer from discovering his true objective: blow up the moon. It seemed so obvious in retrospect; the clues had been everywhere. The spacesuits and Tang at Explosionyed's mom's apartment, the copy of Apollo 13 at the site of the suicide bomber at Target, and finally (the most damning piece of evidence) the note reading: "I AM GOING TO BLOW UP THE MOON AT AROUND 8:00 AM DEATH TO AMERICA." Jack had let this situation nearly slip out of his weary hands, and for his negligence, Jack knew it was up to him and only him to stop Explosionyed's treacherous scheme.
Jack had gone dark from CTU a few hours ago, in order to avoid Bill Buchanan's incessant phone calls that he would make for no real reason, other than to ask Jack "how he was doing" or "who his favorite Beatle was." The only communication Jack had within CTU was that of Ricardo O'Brian, Chloe's twin Costa Rican brother, who took over Chloe's position after her unfortunate and untimely beheading by Mike Novick, former-Chief-of-Staff gone bad.
7:06:44
Jack dusted himself off and searched through the wreckage for his cell phone, which he had been using every five minutes for the past 23 hours without re-charging. When at last he found it, he immediately called Ricardo.
"Soy Ricardo, CTU."
"Ricardo, it's Jack. You were right all along. Explosionyed's going to blow up the moon!" gasped Jack, still wiping blood from his mouth.
"So what do you need from me, Senor Bauer?" queried Ricardo.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO TORTURE YOU OR SOMETHING?!" propositioned Jack, pointing his gun at the cell phone.
"Jesus Christ, Jack, calm down," snapped Ricardo, who was insensitive and rude. "I can help you if you tell me something to do."
"All right," began Jack, lowering his weapon, "I need you to hack into NASA's computers and hijack me a rocket."
"What? Are you insane? What could -"
"I WILL TORTURE YOU WITH MY MIND!" bellowed Jack, as he clenched his fists and eyes and focused on using his mind to torture Ricardo as hard as he could, not realizing that he did not have psychic abilities and the events of the day had completely destroyed what little sanity he had left.
"Fine, fine," sighed Ricardo. "I'll open up a socket and steal you that rocket."
"And I need it within the next ten minutes," announced Jack, hanging up on Ricardo.
"It is literally impossible for you to get to Cape Canaveral in ten minutes, Jack," spoke Ricardo to no one, 'cuz Jack had hung up. Ricardo sighed. "Well...better get going." Ricardo hacked like he had never hacked before, and in seven minutes, the Shuttle Palmer was at their command.
7:19:06
Jack rode his prize stallion, Whistlin' Dixie (whom he had been forced to ride since the terrorists destroyed all automobiles with their "Automobile Bomb Technology" about ten hours ago), onto the launch pad of Cape Canaveral. He leapt off the noble steed and rushed abaord the rocket, sparing no time. Using his cell phone, he called up Ricardo O'Brian.
"Ricardo! Start the launch sequence!" exclaimed Jack. "Now, dammit!"
"It is not in any way possible for you to actually already be on the rocket at Cape Canaveral."
"Dammit, Ricardo, I don't have time to argue with you! Just do it! Dammit!"
"Fine, whatever," murmurred Ricardo, as he opened a socket and used bandwidth or something to start the launch sequence at 7:20:44.
7:20:54.
"BLAST OFF!"
And with an explosion of patriotism and rocket fuel, Jack Bauer was thrusted towards the cold, vast reaches of our galaxy...and his destiny.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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